The Yeti

A seven-foot tall man wrapped in shitty toilet paper stumbled to the ring as Tony Schiavone screamed “IT’S THE YE-TAY! THE YE-TAY” at the top of his lungs from the commentary table. Schiavone, being one of the greatest wrestling personalities of all time, has gone on record to say that he “just thought it was stupid, so [he] made a stupid call.” Without the “YE-TAY” portion of this debut though, it may not have been as memorable. So thank you, Tony Schiavone, for giving us one of the greatest calls in professional wrestling history. Now, I think we can look back in retrospect and say that categorically speaking, this was not the abominable snowman. This, if anything, was a really poor attempt at creating some kind of Scooby Doo-esque mummy. 

 

After a very obviously stiff and uncomfortable walk up to the ring due to how tightly the paper was wrapped around him, The Yeti walked through the ropes, and what happened next was nothing short of terrifying. Eat your heart out Robert Englund, step aside Lon Chaney Jr., it’s time for some real fucking scares.

 

The Yeti wrapped his arms around Hulk Hogan, who was being bear-hugged by The Giant, creating a Hulkamania sandwich. This was no ordinary bear-hug though… This was one of those good ol’ vibrating bear-hugs! You know the ones! The Yeti gyrated, shook and wiggled while very, very lightly holding Hogan and The Giant in his grasp. The dry-humping session lasted about 20 seconds before the main event was complete. It was the quintessential clusterfuck. Why was everyone beating up Hulk Hogan? Why was there a poop-covered man in cahoots with the Dungeon of Doom? Why was the poop man called “The Yeti?” Why was Tony Schiavone calling him “The YE-TAY?” Why was The Yeti trying to sexually assault Hulk Hogan? Nothing made any sense.

 

Oh what’s that? You thought WCW learned their lesson after the awful crowd response and never talked about The Yeti again? Oh, that’s rich! Of course The Yeti came back, this was WCW! And of course he came back in a ninja outfit! Read over the last couple paragraphs again and then read this one again. He was called The Yeti. He was a poopy-mummy. Now he’s a ninja. Not just a ninja, mind you, a giant ninja! The man behind the costumes, Ron Reis, was over seven-feet tall. The sight of a guy that large in costumes that hilarious exemplifies mid-90s WCW like nothing else can. 

 

WCW would finally tune in and can the character, only after changing his name to “Super Giant Ninja” and having him booked on the losing ends of his final matches. Reis would revive his career about two years later, becoming the muscle and enforcer for Raven’s Flock. His short stint as The Yeti though, is perhaps what he’s most remembered for. Matt from the Dinosaur Dracula blog put it best when he said, “I can’t help but appreciate the fact that WCW’s ‘Yeti’ was actually a mummy, and then later a giant ninja.” It was absurd. It was nonsense. But it was fucking magnificent.  If you ever want a quick laugh, or to forget about life’s stresses for a short while, go on Youtube or the WWE Network, type in “The Yeti” and watch as the insanity plays out in front of you.